If Our Drinks Had Dating Profiles
Let’s be honest: if you’re anything like us, you’ve definitely assigned a personality to your coffee order. Maybe you are your order. Maybe your order is your best self. Either way—if these drinks had Tinder bios? Oh, the drama.
We’re taking our spring menu and giving it the dating app treatment: star signs, love languages, toxic traits, the works. Which one are you swiping on? 👀
☕ Blue Dream
Refreshing blueberry lemonade topped with Ethiopian espresso
Star sign: Gemini ♊
Love language: Words of affirmation (especially when they’re texts at 1 a.m.)
Toxic trait: Flirts with everyone… commits to no one
Bio:
“I’m that hot/cold situationship you can’t quit. Sweet? Sometimes. Bitter? Also sometimes. Let’s vibe on the patio and trauma bond over astrology memes.”
☕ Raspberry Almond Latte
A delightful blend of raspberry and almond flavors in our signature latte
Star sign: Libra ♎
Love language: Quality time (but only during golden hour)
Toxic trait: Can’t make a decision. Posts cryptic Instagram captions.
Bio:
“Will drag you to a farmers market and spend 3 hours choosing flowers. If you don’t have a ‘notes app poem’ about me after our third date, are you even trying?”
☕ Lucky Latte
Rich latte with dark brown sugar syrup and spiritless whiskey, finished with a sprinkle of cinnamon
Star sign: Aries ♈
Love language: Acts of service (but like, aggressively)
Toxic trait: Dares you to do shots on a Tuesday night
Bio:
“High energy. No filter. Probably convinced you to get a tattoo on vacation. Swipe right if you can handle it. And yes, I’ll make fun of your ex.”
☕ Honey Badger
Soothing latte infused with honey, cinnamon, and vanilla
Star sign: Taurus ♉
Love language: Physical touch (and snacks)
Toxic trait: Will ‘accidentally’ take a nap at your house for 6 hours
Bio:
“Self-care is a lifestyle. Brunch is a hobby. Catch me in a blanket burrito with 12 throw pillows. Will NOT reply to your ‘u up?’ text unless snacks are involved.”
So... who’s your coffee soulmate?
Come hang out at Second Best Coffee and try something new, grab your seasonal fave, and live your best main character life. Your drink’s waiting.