Ranking Fall Aesthetics By How Exhausting They Are to Maintain
Fall has arrived which means every corner of the internet is once again consumed by cozy aesthetics and mood boards that make you want to quit your job and start writing poetry in a candlelit cabin. But let’s be honest: not all autumn aesthetics are created equal. Some look effortlessly romantic online… and some require an unreasonable amount of ironing, baking, and self-reinvention.
Here’s a definitive ranking of popular fall aesthetics, based solely on how exhausting they are to maintain.
1. Cottagecore (Very Exhausting, Do You Know How Much Laundry?)
Cottagecore looks peaceful in theory: fresh bread cooling on the windowsill, linen dresses catching the golden light, endless walks through misty meadows. But behind every dreamy TikTok montage is a mountain of dishes and three baskets of un-ironed fabric waiting for attention.
To achieve true cottagecore, you must simultaneously:
Bake something rustic daily.
Grow your own herbs.
Pretend you’re not allergic to pollen.
Own at least one antique teacup that you never actually use.
It’s beautiful. It’s romantic. It’s exhausting.
2. Pumpkin Spice Girl (High Effort, Caffeine Dependent)
This aesthetic involves constant maintenance: nails, hair, scarf coordination, and the emotional labor of pretending to be surprised every time pumpkin spice “comes back.”
You must always be holding a latte in perfect lighting. You must love fall more loudly than anyone else. You must wear boots that look adorable but betray you on the first pile of wet leaves.
Being the pumpkin spice girl is a full-time job and while she’s thriving, she’s also running entirely on espresso and manifesting through sheer willpower.
3. Dark Academia (Medium. Coffee Stains Hide Well on Black)
If you’ve ever romanticized loneliness or thought you’d look great reading philosophy in a storm, Dark Academia is for you. Think candlelight, leather-bound books, and blazers that smell faintly of libraries.
The good news? It’s lower maintenance than you’d expect. You can rewear the same turtleneck five days in a row, and no one will notice because everything you own is black or brown. Coffee stains just enhance the aesthetic.
However, to truly commit, you must have a vague existential crisis at least once a week and keep a handwritten journal filled with angst. This is less of a burden and more of a personality requirement.
4. Clean Girl Autumn (Deceptively Exhausting)
Looks minimalist. Feels impossible. To achieve “effortless” perfection requires an actual 12-step skincare routine, consistent lighting, and an apartment that smells faintly of vanilla and success.
You can’t just be clean girl autumn, you must curate her. The sleek bun must glisten but not flake. The matcha must be whisked, not shaken. Your beige wardrobe must remain lint-free despite every scarf you own being wool.
It’s chic, it’s calm, and it’s powered by anxiety and lint rollers.
5. Dark Coquette (High Drama, Moderate Maintenance)
This one’s for the femme fatales of fall. Think black bows, red lipstick, and tragic backstories that never actually happened. You’ll look stunning, but you’ll also constantly be reapplying lip gloss and fixing your hair between gusts of wind.
It’s manageable, but emotionally expensive. You must maintain an aura of mystery at all times. Crying in bathrooms is allowed, but only if it looks cinematic.
6. Goblincore (Low Effort, High Chaos)
Ah, the hero of this list. Goblincore asks nothing from you except that you love dirt, shiny things, and snacks.
There are no aesthetic rules here. Mismatched socks? Great. Mud on your shoes? Better. Found a weird mushroom on your walk? That’s basically a crown.
Where other aesthetics strive for polish, Goblincore thrives on entropy. You’re not curating, you're foraging. And it’s perfect.
7. Academia Burnout Hybrid (Unintentionally Achievable)
This is for those who started fall with lofty goals (new books! candlelit journaling!) and now just stare out windows listening to instrumental playlists. You’ve given up on the aesthetic but somehow look even more authentic because of it.
Effort level: zero. Vibe level: immaculate.
The Final Ranking (From Most to Least Exhausting):
Cottagecore 🌾 (requires four unpaid internships in domestic labor)
Pumpkin Spice Girl 🎃 (powered by caffeine and delusion)
Clean Girl Autumn ☁️ (perfection costs energy)
Dark Coquette 💋 (moody but manageable)
Dark Academia 📚 (existential but efficient)
Goblincore 🍄 (the people’s champion)
Academia Burnout 🖋️ (accidentally iconic)
At the end of the day, fall aesthetics are less about how well you perform them and more about how they make you feel. If you’re tired, be tired. If you’re messy, lean in. If you’re thriving in chaos, congratulations, you’ve already achieved peak autumn energy.